My name is Casey

Like Most Revelations

It is the movement that incites the form,
discovered as a downward rapture--yes,
it is the movement that delights the form,
sustained by its own velocity.And yet

it is the movement that delays the form
while darkness slows and encumbers; in fact
it is the movement that betrays the form,
baffled in such toils of ease, until

it is the movement that deceives the form,
beguiling our attention--we supposed
it is the movement that achieves the form.
Were we mistaken? What does it matter if

it is the movement that negates the form?
Even though we give (give up) ourselves
to this mortal process of continuing,
it is the movement that creates the form.

Richard Howard


You turn to me with frozen lips
Your hands are icy cold
Your eyes burn bright against the frostbit sky
You never seemed more lovely than you do tonight
Pale on the horizon,
Like leaves frozen on the snow
Our two shadows merge inseperably
And time stands still as its pierced with cold

The more I live
The more I know
What's simple is true
I love you

There's a warmth in my heart
That haunts me when you're gone
Mend me to your side,
Never let go
So time knows nothing
We'll never grow cold
The more I live
The more I know
What's simple is true
I love you
Twilight descends on our silhouette
How soon spring comes
How soon spring forgets
I wanna hold time, say it'll never begin
Old man winter, be our friend
Old man winter, be our friend
The more I live
The more I know
What's simple is true
What's simple is true
I love you
I love you

designed by jo naz

Thursday, November 11, 2004

 

not very much sleep tonight... woke up in the middle of it from a nightmare.. it was about 3 am i think... couldn't fall back asleep after that.

if anything, since i said something about it, the nightmares have become more horrible and violent and explicit... i watched him put that word on my leg.

feeling detached and numb. i'm watching what's happening and very rarely controlling it. when i am, i cry. i hate crying. crying makes me feel so weak and useless and subhuman.

i hate being weak in front of him. that's stupid. i know it's stupid... but somehow... i just want him to see the good parts of me.. that's the part of me that's easy to love and i want him to be able to love me without question or fear. i want him to love me without having to work for it.

i want him to be there for a time in my life when nothing's wrong. i don't know if they exist. maybe it's just me and i am bad luck and no matter how hard he tries to make happiness between the two of us, i'll break it.

something is wrong with me. something deep and inherent inmy nature.. something i can't control. something about me is magnetic but only attracts the negative.

i'm going to go lay in bed.

I love you |8:01 AM