My name is Casey

Like Most Revelations

It is the movement that incites the form,
discovered as a downward rapture--yes,
it is the movement that delights the form,
sustained by its own velocity.And yet

it is the movement that delays the form
while darkness slows and encumbers; in fact
it is the movement that betrays the form,
baffled in such toils of ease, until

it is the movement that deceives the form,
beguiling our attention--we supposed
it is the movement that achieves the form.
Were we mistaken? What does it matter if

it is the movement that negates the form?
Even though we give (give up) ourselves
to this mortal process of continuing,
it is the movement that creates the form.

Richard Howard


You turn to me with frozen lips
Your hands are icy cold
Your eyes burn bright against the frostbit sky
You never seemed more lovely than you do tonight
Pale on the horizon,
Like leaves frozen on the snow
Our two shadows merge inseperably
And time stands still as its pierced with cold

The more I live
The more I know
What's simple is true
I love you

There's a warmth in my heart
That haunts me when you're gone
Mend me to your side,
Never let go
So time knows nothing
We'll never grow cold
The more I live
The more I know
What's simple is true
I love you
Twilight descends on our silhouette
How soon spring comes
How soon spring forgets
I wanna hold time, say it'll never begin
Old man winter, be our friend
Old man winter, be our friend
The more I live
The more I know
What's simple is true
What's simple is true
I love you
I love you

designed by jo naz

Friday, October 15, 2004

 

everything is happening so quickly and so harshly- what should i do?

i am attacked constantly at my school, my father's incidents are becoming more and more frequent...

I sometimes can't believe there was a time in which it was at most once a month. There is some sort of instance just about every day now.

Perhaps it was my paper on the wife of bath, but i feel guilty spouting off all of this theory on human rights and feminism and even occasionally objectivism when in fact I sacrifice my human rights in the name of other people's. I gave my childhood to save my little sisters, and have done it well enough that she feels no guilt. I do not want to martyr myself, I do not want her to ever thank me... I want to look at her well being and feel justified in what I've done.

But how can you justify this? How many girls have I told to call the police because their boyfriend beats them? How many have I called foolish for wanting to preserve a relationship at the cost of their body?

I don't know if I'd be justified in saying this... but I can't help but feel that although it makes me a hypocrite I am in a different scenario than them and what i do is justified because of how many people benefit for my loss.

I sometimes play with the idea of leaving, but I know that i won't do that until it's the leave my father expects. I'll be here until college because if I don't stay too many people are hurt.

i feel stupid when i wonder why everyone is out to get me in las vegas. i wonder why i work so hard to protect the people that attack me...

how is it possible that i defend so many people and yet have no allies?

ack. forget it. i'm staying home today.

I love you |6:30 AM